Wednesday, August 27, 2014

How Forward is Too Forward

Being a single gal in a new city, meeting new people and making new friends seem to always be top priority. Which shouldn't be a surprise. I am a very extroverted person that loves making new friends. I am a Gemini for goodness's sake. (HA)


But my question is, being a girl, how forward is too forward that can turn a guy away? More importantly, how forward should one be without making a fool of herself; avoiding the rejection feeling.

Since I've been here, I've met people here and there but there is only one person that I'm a little more interested in than the rest. Wanting to get to know him better is on my to-do list but it would be nice to know whether or not if he's actually available first; then we'll work on whether or not if he's interested. Honestly, why can't guys just be more forth coming with information like this. This uncertainty is what I really hate about "the hunt".

"I like you, but I don't know if you feel the same so I'm not going to say anything" ...
 great, it looks like we're not getting anywhere ...

I've talked to friends about this issue and have gotten a mix of responses. 

Carlos (just think of him as my Stanford in Sex and The City) and his partner advised me to just come right now and ask him. According to them, he'll appreciate my straight-forwardness. And if he give me the response that I don't like, he's automatically gay. Now, I'm not quite sure how much I like this idea that either he is interested or he's gay, but could they be right? Should I just come out and text him (yes, this is the texting world now) and say something along the lines that I am interested in him and if he doesn't have a girlfriend, we should grab drinks. Doesn't that sound too forward, coming for a girl nonetheless?

Now on the other side of the spectrum, Kelly mentioned that she would never have the courage to do something like this. Though she isn't a Debby Downer, but she does make a valid point. What if, after I send this daring text, not only is he not gay, but he's just not interested. Clearly me asking him whether or not he has a girlfriend is a sure fire indicator that I would want to pursue something. If things to unfold this way, it could get awkward after that and I would feel completely rejected.


Now I have to ask myself, there really is no harm in asking now is there. Besides, I'll never actually know until I muscle up the courage to say something and guessing is only making my head hurt to be honest. The worst that can happen is he says no and both of us go on about our business. ... 

What do you think, should I or shouldn't I? Regardless, wish me luck! 

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