Is it just me or does it seem like cancer becoming a much larger virus than we had ever imagined? It feels like it was only a few years ago when cancer was still pretty rare and the chances of you knowing someone with it was pretty slim. I wish we could go back to those days.
This last July, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She's currently undergoing treatment and is anticipating a date for surgery to remove the tumor. Cancer is quite possibly the worst thing in the world. Not only for the patients themselves but also those that love them too.
I can't say the pain and exhaustion that I'm experiencing is anywhere near what my mom is going through. But at the same time, I hope people don't think that just because we aren't the ones with cancer that it's a walk in the park. Cancer sucks. Honestly, having gone through as much as I have, I can almost say that the pain is equal. Equal but most definitely in different ways.
Denial - Check. I think that's almost always the most common first reaction. No one wants to believe that this is happening to them, and more importantly, someone they know and love. Anger - Check. "Why me??" Not that we wish this upon anyone, but why me? Why us? And on top of it all; helpless - Check. This has to be the worst of them all.
Helpless.
Since the diagnosis, that's all you feel. There's nothing else you can do. Everything we do in life to prevent this day from happening has failed and there's nothing else we can do now. The only thing we can do is leave it to the doctors to prescribe the right amount of chemo, schedule the days we need to see them, and wait.
It's not as if my mom has the common cold and I can prepare her medication for her. It's not as if she has a broken arm and I can help scratch that part of her back she can never reach. Cancer has made me feel more helpless than ever. I can only watch aimlessly as she goes through treatment and pray that everything is working as it should be. Yes, everyone including my family back in Seattle are all trying to make lighter of the situation. Trying to keep my mom happy and position is now our only task.
But what about our own emotions that we are desperately trying to release? In order to help my mom stay positive, we must all think positively. But honestly, as people, we experience about a dozen different emotions throughout the day that needs to be released otherwise we'll all end up sick. However, in order to prevent this from affecting my mom in a negative way, we're all masking the pain and sadness inside. At least, we're trying.
Now I can't speak for anyone else, but as a 23 year old that's still experiencing life and growing up herself, I can only hide so much before I implode. Which would then cause me to explode. I think I need time off. Time off from my full time job that requires me to take care of my mom and just breath. To have a real minute to myself where I can sort through all the thoughts running through my brain so I can function again.
This last July, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She's currently undergoing treatment and is anticipating a date for surgery to remove the tumor. Cancer is quite possibly the worst thing in the world. Not only for the patients themselves but also those that love them too.
I can't say the pain and exhaustion that I'm experiencing is anywhere near what my mom is going through. But at the same time, I hope people don't think that just because we aren't the ones with cancer that it's a walk in the park. Cancer sucks. Honestly, having gone through as much as I have, I can almost say that the pain is equal. Equal but most definitely in different ways.
Denial - Check. I think that's almost always the most common first reaction. No one wants to believe that this is happening to them, and more importantly, someone they know and love. Anger - Check. "Why me??" Not that we wish this upon anyone, but why me? Why us? And on top of it all; helpless - Check. This has to be the worst of them all.
Helpless.
Since the diagnosis, that's all you feel. There's nothing else you can do. Everything we do in life to prevent this day from happening has failed and there's nothing else we can do now. The only thing we can do is leave it to the doctors to prescribe the right amount of chemo, schedule the days we need to see them, and wait.
It's not as if my mom has the common cold and I can prepare her medication for her. It's not as if she has a broken arm and I can help scratch that part of her back she can never reach. Cancer has made me feel more helpless than ever. I can only watch aimlessly as she goes through treatment and pray that everything is working as it should be. Yes, everyone including my family back in Seattle are all trying to make lighter of the situation. Trying to keep my mom happy and position is now our only task.
But what about our own emotions that we are desperately trying to release? In order to help my mom stay positive, we must all think positively. But honestly, as people, we experience about a dozen different emotions throughout the day that needs to be released otherwise we'll all end up sick. However, in order to prevent this from affecting my mom in a negative way, we're all masking the pain and sadness inside. At least, we're trying.
Now I can't speak for anyone else, but as a 23 year old that's still experiencing life and growing up herself, I can only hide so much before I implode. Which would then cause me to explode. I think I need time off. Time off from my full time job that requires me to take care of my mom and just breath. To have a real minute to myself where I can sort through all the thoughts running through my brain so I can function again.
